I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
