how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I forgot wine drunk hurts
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
