When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
