At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
