if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
