Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
