is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
