my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
