Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
