new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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