I would go down on you faster than GM stock
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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