hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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