Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
