You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
