Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
