i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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