i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
