I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
