and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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