Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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