Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
