Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
