I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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