I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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