i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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