I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
