Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said her name was "party"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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