Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
