PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The power of my boobs compel you
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
