the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize