So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
