wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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