But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
