Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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