He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
NoShamevember. You game?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
