You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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