not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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