I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
