some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
