Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
