White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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