She is in my trunk
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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