I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
