Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it glows. i had to have it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
