Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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