sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
