he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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