he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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