So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
