My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize