We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
