I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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