have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
