Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
