I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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