My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
